My biggest fear since “growing up” is idleness. Idleness in the sense that I would no longer have ambition. I loose sight of my dreams and goals. Yet too often, I find myself in a hurry. Too fast, too furious to achieve results. I worry that not seeing results immediately will mean that I’ve failed. And I dread failure. I’d rather not do something than do it with the knowledge that I would fail. Is it human nature to feel this way? Probably.
I’m beginning to learn that moving will amount to progress, regardless of pace. It’s always better to go somewhere than nowhere. But lately I find myself teetering between vigor and idleness. I’ll visualize a goal and set my intentions on it. I’ll get super inspired…then it all goes away. Because I’m not seeing results right away, I let things gets to my head. I start to believe that my efforts are futile.
When I found the Chinese proverb up above, it was a true sense of relief. It confirmed that there are other people who share my fears and frustrations. This realization led me to face my internal struggle. Still figuring it out though — but I’m okay with going slow.